The Palace (2024 in Spain)

Plot of The Palace: It is December 31st 1999 and the Palace Hotel in Gstaad is holding one of their legendary New Year gatherings. The Manager Hans Kopf gives the assembled staff a lecture on how to make the event a success, and the guests begin to arrive. We meet Mr Crush, who does not have a booking, and does not like the tiny room allotted to him, The Marquise a late of indeterminate years who has a incontinent dog, Dr Lima, who is a plastic surgeon some of whose quite doubtful work also attends, and Bongo, a former porn star. Also present is Arthur William Dallas III aged ninety something and his new wife Magnolia who is twenty something, and arriving a bit later are a gang of Russians with their bodyguards and women plus a number of cases full of money. Some will hope to take advantage of the change in the century and when Boris Yeltsin hands over to Putin, the Russians have a new agenda.

Content: There is quite a bit of talk of “blow jobs” and Magnolia is seen riding Arthur, who dies during the event. She is at least temporarily attached to him (I’ve seen it happen to dogs, but was unaware it could happen to humans), and also needs to have him alive until after midnight to inherit his fortune. Crush has a plan to make money with the help of a Swiss banker, who becomes the target of the Russian girls who drug him with hash. Crush is also distressed by the arrival of a man who could be his son with his wife and kids. After the Putin take-over the Russian Ambassador arrives with his wife, and negotiates about the money. Dr Lima’s wife suffers from dementia. During all these people’s problems Hans moves about from place to place calming, negotiating and keeping things in order.

A View: While the film has been shown at some festivals no distributor has been found for UK or USA. It cost $17 million and has made almost nothing. The Uk critics have given it either  none or one star. One assumes that they were at one of these festivals. Of course Polanski still has sexual stuff hanging over him, after 50 years but should not have affected the making of the film. The business of moving the dead body is straight out of Faulty Towers, but not half as funny. It is a terrible film which you should not go to see at the cinema, even if you could find it. When it is free to view on some-one’s cable give it a look just out of curiosity.

Fun Fact: Claimed to have been filmed at the Palace Hotel, Gstaad, but if it was not filmed on some sound stages in Poland I’ll go to the foot of our stairs.