Fast & Furious 9 (2021)

Summary: There is a wonder device “Aries” which looks like half an Easter egg, which if complete can take control of any or all weapons systems on earth. Dom’s estranged brother Jakob is after it, so it is all systems go. Dom and his guys go to Montequinto where they battle with opposition led by Jakob, who wants Aries. They get away and members of the group go to different places to find out stuff, so there are scenes in London, Edinburgh, Tokyo, Germany and Eastern Europe. The villains seem to be assisted by Cipher, a woman being held in a glass box. Somehow the plot moves on to Edinburgh where a truck containing a vast electro-magnet is found  and finally to Triblisi where enormous vehicles are chased through the streets.

Content: There is no sex or nudity. And just a bit of beer drinking. The film is really just a load of set pieces, connected loosely together by a tenuous plot. There is a flashback to Dom’s father being killed during a saloon car race. The Monteqinto scene involves a lot of explosions, propelling their vehicles forward rather than destroying them. The Edinburgh chase involves Ramsey, a young woman with no driving skill chasing a Jaguar in a truck and at various points Dom fights with his estranged brother on the roofs of vehicles. There is a vast electro-magnet in the plot.

A View: I have recently had the unfortunate experience of travelling on an Alsa bus from Granada to Madrid, in cramped conditions and, so it seemed to me, without air conditioning during the recent heat wave. But my distress was slightly mitigated by the opportunity to watch F9 on the screen provided. I was not going to bother to review it, but I found that mentally reviewing it during a visit to the dentist was helpful. So F9 had a purpose for me. Amongst the lunacy I wondered how a 10 ton truck, driven by a learner, could have kept up with a modern Jaguar, and how Cipher, in her glass box, could go to the lavatory. But honestly! It was like being hit over the head with a blunt instrument. So, not a watch, even for nothing.